


walking back to happiness

by whiplash



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Audrey Being Awesome, Duke Being Sex on Two Legs, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Harm to Children (hinted at), M/M, Multi, Nathan Being Emotionally Awkward, Other, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-13
Updated: 2011-11-07
Packaged: 2017-10-22 14:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiplash/pseuds/whiplash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They seduce each other. More or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Look at that," Duke says, grinning. "Audrey Parker, on time for a date."

Audrey rolls her eyes at him, but accepts the hand Duke holds out. Still holding on she then tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and spins around, showing off her dress, before glancing up at you. You swallow around the lump in your throat and raise your bottle in a salute.

Duke's eyes meet yours over her head and, acting on instinct, you hold out your bottle to him. He takes it with his free hand, then grins again while raising it to his lips.

xxx

"If you think," Duke murmurs, "that sex is all about touch... then you've been doing it wrong."

You can feel Audrey's gaze as she, from where she's sitting naked and cross-legged on the bed, watches the two of you with eager eyes. The way it makes you feel, you imagine you must be blushing. Scowling, you stare down at the ground. At your naked feet next to Duke's. Duke hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head up.

"Don't look away," he scolds, lips smiling but eyes serious. "Keep your eyes on me."

Then he proves his point. Thoroughly.

xxx

"Walking back to happiness," Audrey sings, off-key but with enough feeling that you can't make yourself care. Instead you lean against the wall and watch her, the drops of water trailing down her back and the soap suds making their way down her strong legs.

There are steps behind you, then hands sneak around your waist. You stare at the large hands, trying to wrap your head around your new reality. You experiment with leaning back against his chest, watching as the hands tighten.

"Pervert," Duke accuses. "Spying on girls in the shower room."

"Stones and glasshouses," you reply, smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

The inside of your mouth is thick with scars from where you've bitten your own flesh without even noticing. You know this not only from being told by your doctors but you've felt it too back when you were able to; you've traced the groves and welts first with your tongue and then with your fingers.

This is all you can think of the first time Duke grabs you by the neck and presses his lips against yours and so you're not surprised when he pulls back. Your eyes fly open though when he comes back for a second kiss.

xxx

You find them on the beach; the ocean stretching out behind them, their heads ducked close together and their shoulders almost touching. You imagine this; the sun warm on their skin, the sand wet under their bare feet, the breeze gentle and cool.

You watch as Duke throws his head back, laughing and shaking his head. Audrey bends down, dipping her hand in the water and flicking her fingers at him. Duke freezes _(just like you would have)_ but _(unlike you)_ takes advantage and soon they're both looking drenched.

It's not jealousy, this thing that tears at you. It's envy.

xxx

After, when you're laying tangled in a pile with too many arms and legs, all sticky, sleepy and spent, Audrey starts laughing. Her shoulder digs into your ribs; you can feel the warmth of her skin and the way her whole body shakes with mirth.

"What?" Duke demands, never one to be left out of a joke.

"I just realized," she says, still laughing in between the words, "that you're still a married man which makes us two-"

"Hey," he objects, only to the next moment smile widely. "Heh, Nate, I think Audrey just implied that you're my kept woman."


	3. Chapter 3

"Breakfast of champions," you say, tucking into your pancakes. On the other side of the table, Audrey just laughs and takes another bite of her no-cheese-egg-whites-only omelette.

"Here," you hear yourself say and you see your hand push the plate into the space between you. There's a moment of pause where you think _idiot, idiot, idiot_ while she looks from the plate to you and back to the plate. Then her fork sneaks out, dragging a piece through syrup and half-melted butter.

"Mm," she says, "yeah, it tastes like-"

You don't hear the rest, your world narrowed to her smile.

xxx

"God, Nate," he slurs, slumping against you, "you should see the fucking devotion in your eyes."

Sighing, you prop him up against your car and shift around so that your hip and shoulder keeps him from falling over. Duke, of course, takes this as permission to use you as a pillow and if things were different you'd feel his warm, wet breath against your neck.

"Whenever she walks into the room," Duke continues, alcohol still strong on his breath, "it's like, like nothing else-"

You wrap your hand over his mouth, swallowing hard and looking away as his eyes darken.

xxx

It's Monday morning and it's raining acid.

You're all crowded under the only shelter, watching the destruction of the car's paintwork and trying to ignore the cacophony of pain from the wildlife. You press closer to Audrey, herding her back against the stone wall and your fingers, already clenching the fabric of Duke's jacket, tug him back another few inches. The last thing you want to hear is their cries of pain.

"Goddamn it, Nate, be careful," Duke suddenly snaps, freeing his arm and shoving you back as Audrey wraps an arm around your waist to drag you even closer.


	4. Chapter 4

The first time Duke disappears into your bathroom, you're too worn out to even open your eyes to appreciate the view. The sudden shriek jump-starts your brain though and you're grinning as you push Audrey back into bed, the palm of your hand coming alive against her skin.

"Don't mess with my shower settings," you order, laughing as Duke curses.

A few weeks later you come home to find the lights on. You search the house room by room until you find Duke installing a thermometer in your shower.

"The marvels of modern technology," he says, pointedly ignoring the gun.

xxx

_If Duke's heart is still beating it's too faint for your numb fingers to feel it. If he's still breathing, you can't hear it over the rush of the waves and the wail of the seagulls. Dying, you think, dying, dying, dying. Somewhere a baby is crying and the world shifts around you and suddenly you're-_

You're on the couch, a blanket covering your legs and Audrey's hand wrapped around your wrist. You look over her shoulder and there's Duke by the table, reading a newspaper in Chinese.

"Bad dream?" Audrey asks, her thumb rubbing circles against your skin.

"Yeah."

xxx

"In sickness and health," you say, holding up the can of tomato soup for inspection.

Audrey sniffles and shifts, allowing just enough space for you to squeeze past. There are traces of breakfast still on the table -- crumbs, a stray spoon, two coffee cups -- and you wait for the twinge of jealousy. It doesn't come.

The sneeze, loud and sudden, nearly has you diving for cover though and when you turn around Audrey is peering up at you through watery eyes. Grinning you dig through your pockets for your phone; maybe Duke can pick up some cold medicine.


	5. Chapter 5

Your body comes alive under her hands. It's everything you imagined... and more. More because as her fingertips brush against your skin phantom pain flares up from already healed fractures and long since faded bruises.

"Too much," you say, forcing the words around the lump in your throat. You should have known. This has been too good to be true all along.

"Too quick," Audrey corrects, tilting her head and looking at you with eyes that seem to take in everything. When she smiles at you, there's no pity or sadness, just a promise that together you'll work it out.

xxx

"What does it matter?" you ask, shifting impatiently. "It's not like you're gonna hurt me."

It's a reasonable question but something flashes over Duke's face and he pulls away, blaming it on a cramp. You open and close your mouth, suddenly mute as well as numb. All you can think is that if this is a test, it's one you've failed.

Later Audrey joins you outside where the moon is pale and the wind unkind. You expect her to explain and make it right, but instead she just tells you that it's too cold to be outside without a jacket.

xxx

You kiss your way past her soft belly, nibbling on her hip bones and tickling the insides of her thighs. She wriggles and gasps, muscles shifting under her skin and you don't need Duke's murmured encouragement to know it's your doing.

Of course, Duke's soft filthy commentary doesn't hurt either. The way he pitches his voice just right, the way he strings words together to make... porn, really. You inhale deeply, Audrey's scent in your nose and her taste in your mouth and Duke's words filling your mind.

Duke was right, you think. There is more to sex than touch.


	6. Chapter 6

Duke mutters in his sleep, fingers clawing into the bedding and legs moving restlessly. Some nights he kicks you hard enough to bruise (this is your secret) and some nights he wakes you both up (this one you share with Audrey).

In the soft grey light she looks like a ghost of herself but even then, sleepy-eyed with messy hair and midnight breath, she's still Audrey Parker and she runs her hand down Duke's skinny spine and kisses the damp curls until he settles down again.

One of a kind, you think. Gifted where the rest of Haven is cursed.

xxx

It's Duke who finds her, his voice high as he calls you over. She's half-hidden behind a box of mystery cargo, hair over her face and her knees pulled tight towards her chest. You freeze, but just for a heart-beat. The next moment finds you on the floor with them.

"Audrey?" Duke says, voice like honey. "Whatcha doing here?"

Later, he asks her for their names. She won't tell; says they're both old now, says they're not fostering kids anymore, says it's all in the past (and not even her past, not really). She says to forget.

You never do.

xxx

It's the Chief's birthday.

Waking up to that knowledge is like a punch in the gut. You spend the day staring down at either your desk or your shoes, convinced that everyone around you either knows or has already forgotten and unsure which is worse.

Audrey takes you for lunch and Duke cooks you all dinner. You stare down at your plate, wondering how to tell them that all you want is to be left alone. You slip out later, driving up to the hills to watch the sun set. Your phone keeps ringing.

Eventually you bring yourself to answer.


	7. Chapter 7

Saturday, after work, you walk in on them in the kitchen. Audrey's on the counter, a mixing bowl in her lap and a spoon in her hand while Duke is elbow-deep in soap suds by the sink. The oven hums and whirls contentedly and as you sniff the air you smell something baking.

"Brownies?" you ask, startling them both.

"Mm, with extra chocolate," Audrey confirms, scooping up yet another spoonful of cake mix and holding it out to you. You walk up to her, obediently opening your mouth. She rewards you first with the sugary goop, then with a kiss.

xxx

"You went speed-dating?"

"Yes, yes, I did," Audrey says, laughing with you, only to then frown and shake her head. "Or, well, it wasn't me, not really, but-"

"Close enough," Duke snorts, reaching out to pull her down to the floor. He holds the bottle in his left hand, pouring sloppily into the shot glasses before handing out drinks. Audrey and Duke quickly toss theirs back. Your fingers, numb and clumsy, slip on the slick surface though and the floor becomes a glittering mess of broken glass and top-shelf whiskey.

Nobody bothers to clean it up until the next morning.

xxx

At the end of the day, you go home.

The milk has gone off and the bowl in the sink has mold gathering in the corners. The stench has your stomach rolling long after the kitchen has been scoured and drenched in bleach. You change your sheets while you're at it and stuff the machine with the bottom dregs of your laundry basket. Mismatched socks, old jeans, summer shorts.

Your phone rings and when you answer it's Duke. He says that if you're gonna be back late for dinner you should at least have the decency to let him know.


	8. Chapter 8

"What happened?" the Chief asks, jerking his head in the direction of the bandage.

You tug down your sleeve and straighten up, body moving on auto pilot even as your mind remains blank. The words you could use to try and explain are all there on the tip of your tongue -- the asylum, the music, your lighter -- but you know that the Chief would never understand. To him your greatest weakness has never been your inability to feel, but your inability to cope with your troubles.

"Accident," Audrey lies, all sunny smile and innocent eyes. "Just a scratch."

xxx

Half-asleep you brush your teeth, mind somewhere else until Duke says _hey_ and you notice the water-diluted blood in the sink. Later you down a cup of scalding hot coffee before your brain processes Audrey's alarmed _no, wait_.

Your shoulders knock into doorframes, your knees against the desk. Your fingers tear at a ragged bit of nail and then there are smears of blood all over your paperwork. Your eyes get tired and when you're done rubbing them the world remains blurred for several minutes.

"Shhh," Audrey says, her lips against your neck. "Just... slow down, all right?"

You try.

xxx

The door close behind you and your knees give way until you're down, bare skin against solid ground. You rest the back of your head against the door as your chest constricts. The sound of your wheezing breaths echo strangely against tiled walls. You can hear your heart beating and your vision blurs (not with tears, just lack of oxygen) and you remind yourself that it _will_ pass.

Later you shower away all traces of panic and join them in Audrey's bed. Even in their sleep they shift to accommodate you and eventually you wake up to a new dawn.


	9. Chapter 9

“Aww, look at you guys,” Audrey coos. Her smile draws you to her, even though you can’t see what good could come from revisiting the past. “You look so-“

“Degenerate?” you suggest, peering down at the old photos. Duke’s grinning at the camera, wearing a leather jacket that you haven’t seen for fifteen years, yet remember perfectly.

“Pompous?” Duke retaliates. “It’s amazing how self righteous our Nate was at sixteen!”

“Young,” she laughs, “and innocent... and sweet.”

“Yeah, that wispy excuse of a facial hair is _adorable_ ,” you dead-pan, swallowing a grin as Duke jabs his elbow into your ribs.

***

“Well, you just make sure that Sasquatch knows that you’re off the market,” Duke says, stomping off towards the kitchen. Your eyes search out Audrey’s in a wordless plea for help but you can tell, just from the way the skin crinkles in the corners of her eyes, that you’re on your own. Instead of an ally, she’s playing the role of an amused audience.

“Thanks a lot,” you mouth at her before following the sound of Duke slamming pots around. You grind your teeth together before forcing out; “There is nothing, absolutely nothing, going on between me and Dwight!”

***

“You’re way too good at this,” Duke mutters, voice raspy and fingers clenched tight around the edge of the bed frame. You lock your eyes onto his face – skin flushed, lips swollen, eyes dark – before sliding your mouth off him with an audible _slurp_.

“I can stop,” you assure him. Instead of the expected growl or swat, his hand comes up to cradle your face. You turn your head, your lips sliding over the palm of his hand and when his thumb nudges your lips you let him inside.

Later you think back, wondering at how intimate it’s all become.


	10. Chapter 10

The words are right there, on the tip of your tongue as you kiss your way down her neck. She scrapes her fingernails across your scalp, digs her hands into your hair and drags you down... down past her breasts, down past her belly, until wispy hair tickles your nose.

You inhale sharply and the words are _right there_... but instead of speaking you burrow your face into her warm flesh. And the words stay right there, like marbles rolling around in your mouth and filling up your throat.

When you finally do speak, all you manage is her name.

xxx

" _La petite mort_ ," Duke says, his voice muffled by the pillow. Audrey wriggles in your arms, her shoulder blades against your chest and her hair filling your mouth. It smells nice and you're content to sniff it, only half-listening to Duke's attempts at charming her with his mangled French.

When they laugh, the bed shakes and you shake with them. You think, not for the first time, how life was _before_ without quite daring to wonder how it would be _after_.

" _Mon coeur_ ," Duke croons at Audrey. " _Mon petit chou_."

And you think; _je t'aime._

"Hey, doesn’t _chou_ mean cabbage?"

xxx

"Yes, yes," Duke says, his voice far away. "I heard you the first ten times, Nate. Don't break the law, don't get arrested, don't get killed. Roger that. I love you too, but I'm still hanging up now."

And he does. Just like that.

"What's wrong?" Audrey asks, peering at you where you're standing, hand clasped so tight around the phone that you can hear the plastic creaking. Fucking Duke, you think, half in awe and half in fury. Fucking bastard.

"I love you," you tell her out loud.

"And I you," she says, looking somewhat worried but altogether unsurprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations: "la petite mort" = the little death, "mon coeur" = my heart, "mon petit chou" = my little cabbage, "je t'aime" = I love you.


	11. Chapter 11

"Goddamn _fucking_ hell..."

Duke's voice wobbles, making him sound young and terrified. You ignore him, shifting your weight forward to press down even harder on Audrey's belly. She whimpers and paws at your hands, trying (for once) to push you away.

"Sorry," you say, for reasons which are probably entirely selfish. Her blood is warm and thick against your hands and her skin cold and clammy. You hold on to those sensations; proof that she's still alive.

"The ambulance's is coming," Duke says, “Nathan, _fuck_ , I don’t-“

There's a pained whine; whether yours or Duke's or Audrey's, you can't tell.

xxx

Audrey sleeps a lot as she recovers.

Duke disappears for a few days, eventually returning with a split lip and lumpy, fist sized bruises. Before that though, while it's just you and Audrey in Audrey's apartment, you spend your nights stretched out on top of the covers beside her. Those are the nights that seem to go on forever.

Laying there you remember the hospital; waiting for news as Duke paced across the room, back and forth, back and forth, only to suddenly collapse like a puppet with its strings cut.

Audrey's eyes fluttering open at dawn becomes a blessing.

xxx

She bounces back as if nothing has happened; the same smile on her lips, light in her eyes and determination in her stride. As if there's nothing but smooth, unmarred skin underneath her cotton top. You look at Duke, searching his face but finding nothing but the occasional glimpse of an odd softness. Nothing to mirror the paralyzing fear you don't know how to express.

Somehow though, Audrey knows. She pulls you close, your head in her lap as she threads her fingers through your hair.

"Stop worrying," she orders, voice strong, amazing and alive.

And, strangely, it somehow helps.


	12. Chapter 12

The wind picks up, rocking the raft even harder.

"The coast guard should be here soon," you say, not for the first time.

Together you stare out over the dark horizon, three pairs of eyes failing to find even the slightest hint of light. Audrey's hair whips around her face and Duke, lips tinged with blue, burrows deep into his jacket. Their teeth clatter as they speak and when you wrap your hand around Audrey's you find it freezing.

The cold and the wet don’t bother you, yet in the end you're the one to suggest huddling close for warmth.

xxx

"You know, this is becoming quite the bad habit," Duke says as soon as you open your eyes. You squint up at him; mouth dry and mind sluggish as you try to make sense of his words.

"Me waking up in your bed?" you finally manage, appalled when some of the hurt bleeds through in your voice.

"Fishing law enforcement agents out of my ocean," Duke dryly corrects. "You remember what happened?"

“No?” Struggling to sit, you ask; “Audrey? Is she-”

“She’s fine,” Duke says. “She went out. She said we needed tomato soup. Claimed you’d understand.”

And you do.

xxx

"This is the life," Duke murmurs, his head nestled against his arms and his bare back stretched out under the beating sun. His skin is smeared with sun lotion, shockingly white against his tan, and as you watch Audrey stretches out a fingertip to draw a smiley face between his shoulder blades.

Her eyes meet yours and you both grin. The boat rocks companionably from side to side and whatever Duke's cooking in the mess smells delicious; spices and herbs mingling with the salt of the ocean.

Duke is right. This is _the_ life. Your life.

Who’d have ever guessed?


End file.
